Are you worth the changes she’ll have to make? - Heart On Break

Are you worth the changes she’ll have to make?

Written by Nakada

Today there aren’t enough incentives for women to make drastic changes to their lifestyle in order to be with a man who seems different from the norm. There are societal boxes designed just for men– jump in and play along in order to earn the affection of women and the respect of society at large. If you do well and earn a fancy tittle– well you’ll be the man, now won’t you? How does that sound? That’s the easiest path for most men, just pick your poison—go to school, get a job, stay on that job to show you’re stable, buy a house if you’re upper middle class (rent forever if you’re not), get a car note, send your kids to college and all these things will validate your existence and get you the woman of your dreams.

This is upwards of 98% of the male population– blind followers who fit perfectly into one (or all) of the predetermined societal boxes. Men follow this path mostly to earn the affection and respect of women, but I’m not sure it’s been working. If you happen to think outside of the box, though, the average woman will view your floating box as unfamiliar territory that is likely to make her feel uncomfortable.

“What– you want to be an entrepreneur? Stop dreaming! Get a job like everyone else. There’s nothing wrong with working hard for a living.”

According to today’s standards of living, there is embedded safety in the boxes she’s accustomed to seeing men in and she’s been convinced that it’s in her best overall interest to keep you in the box she expects you to be in because there seems to be little risk involved, thus it makes her feel safe. The last 50 years of feminist driven social engineering has done a good enough job of getting over 98% of men to follow these standards because they believe they’ll be rewarded with the love of a woman. It seemed like a good deal in the 1950’s, but it’s 2017! Women aren’t the same and neither are men.

Not every young man realizes his greatness when he embarks into the world. For so many men in today’s society, if you believe in yourself with a passion you end up making enemies with those who had boxes they’ve prepared for you to live in ever since you were born. If you reject the false ideals about manhood being marketed at you to find your true self and your purpose, over time you’ll develop a recognizable aura of distinction that women can smell on you like cologne. Men will know you’re different from the normal follower and they’ll either socialize with you minimally or avoid you all together. Women, however, will be curious to know ‘what is it about him?’ If you’re physically attractive it’ll lure her into coming in closer and if she comes too close she might not fit into her previous box comfortably again. This is risky business for many women because on many occasions, her choice in men will result in her loosing friends and sometimes even family.



So, are you worth it?

Of course you are—if you know your purpose in life and are working relentlessly towards it. That which makes you different alone is worth her leaving her comfort zone to find out what you can bring to her world. But when you know why you’re here and what you’re here to do- that kind of confidence and knowledge of self is irresistible to women. The average woman has built in hardware that sends alerts to her when the direction that you’re heading in is the same direction she wants to go in– even if being with you is a risk. Your direction could be Mr. 9-5 with enough money left over for weekly date nights. Or it could be Mr. Adventurous who takes her places and show things she’s only previously dreamt about. But, sadly, it could also be Mr. Undecided who does whatever his environment dictates to him, but she’ll get chewed up and spat out in no time with this guy (he could even have a job and be adventurous, too).

The truth is most women enjoy Mr. Adventurous, but they rarely make for long term relationship success. Based on my experiences, they all seem to get at least three to five Mr. Undecideds in their lives who literally turn their lives upside down. But the women who consider themselves practical and safe will tell you that Mr. 9-5 (whatever that job may be) is more reliable than the other two guys (he might be). He’s safe- because he’s predictable so there’s not much risk involved in pairing herself with Mr. 9-5. But as safe as Mr. 9-5’s are, a very large portion of these men are emasculated men who are just doing what they’ve been taught to do by society. They’ll do whatever to make their mothers proud, but they are clueless when it comes to women. All it takes is for them to wake up to their purpose in life and everyone who was such a big supporter will be scared that if he changes his mind about what he wants, their lives will change. And you guessed it—no one wants him to see the light of his purpose, even if it makes him happier, simply because his life serves them more than his life serves him. Being the regular Mr. 9-5 poses no risk for women, which in their mind is good because they feel they’ll have less competition from other women.


Make yourself worth it

Knowing yourself is the beginning of all knowledge. Everything you think you know about the world outside of you can be better utilized by first knowing yourself. Knowledge is just a vanity for a man who doesn’t know how to utilize it on his life’s mission. I don’t consume information that leads me in the opposite direction of my purpose at all. You must make similar oaths to yourself to help you build yourself rather than just fill your mind with ideas that don’t help you live in your purpose.

You make yourself worth it when you fully invest in yourself. If that’s a slow process from where you are now- commit to it anyways! Why would any man, knowing the odds are against him, rush into relationships these days? You have to have a vision for your life as a man before you go looking for love. This vision gets clearer and clearer the more you work towards it. The vision is what has to be worth it for a woman. And at the same breath, every man must understand that his vision may not align with what a lot of women want- even some of beautiful ones. Yet still, you can’t settle for a woman, no matter how beautiful she may be, who will not buy into your long term vision. Be willing to take as long as it takes to turn your life into a purpose driven life, even if that means you take a relationship break in order to create time and space to bond with your vision and your purpose. It’s your job to know where your vision leads you as well as how it would impact your future woman. Explain it to her explicitly so she knows what she’s getting into and what role you’re looking for her to play in your life. After this process is complete is when you’re especially worth it. After all this work you’ve done to position yourself, the average woman will not last in your presence- because she will never be able to convince you to be someone you are not in order to make her happy. You’ll never allow yourself to be belittled or rearranged in order to be loved and that’s real value with women.

So answer me this:

Men, are you worth the changes she’ll have to make to be with you?

Ladies, is he worth the changes you’ll have to make to be with him?


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About the author


When I followed my penis I got caught up. I then started following my purpose and all of a sudden everyone's up in arms about what I need to be doing with my life. They got mad, I politely told them to go f*ck themselves and continued to follow my purpose. Better pissed off than pissed on b/c no longer will I live for another soul but me. My book is about the break men must take to own their lives!

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