Why you shouldn’t sleep with women who are only options
In this video chapter of the book, I talk a little about some of the reasons men continue to date women they really don’t want to be with. A lot of men settle for these women because many of these women are OK with sex without a major commitment. These women say this, but end up sticking around in a man’s life in the same fashion as a long term relationship. Men must learn is to approach being free from these women very seriously, in the same fashion as MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way). Heart on Break book is about being single to find your purpose, so in order to do that friends with benefits, ex-girlfriends and baby mothers all need to get cut off.
Friends with benefits
If she’s in and out of your life, but this process goes on for years, sure she may be your “friend with benefits,” but she’s also your damn woman because she’s more attached to you than she is to the other men she may see in between dating you. She can be very toxic if she deals with other men frequently. With her it seems like it’s all fun and games, but in her mind you’re her man and you guys are in a relationship.
Along with cut buddies or “friends with benefits,” there are ex-girlfriends who just don’t want to move on. They’ll offer sex, comfort, food and a variety of other conveniences to make it easier for you to want to be in their company. When you’re weak, it’s easy to lean on their shoulders because you feel comfortable opening up to them. But they are exes for a reason. And if you need to get your sh*t together, no matter how convenient she is, it’s really about time to cut her off completely and let her go do her thing.
Men, especially black men, get caught up on their “baby mamas” real easily. It’s always nice to see the child and feel like closer to her and the baby, but if you want to see your child, then you the child should come to your place and spend time with you there. She’s a baby mama for a reason- maybe because of you, but whatever the reason is, if she’s not the one she, too has to get cut off.
Closing the door
A man’s ability to cut off women is critical to his success. It’s usually when you’re the closest to your dreams and your goals when one of these women call or text you. When they call or text the first thing most men think of is sex. But what men should be thinking is how to get closer to their goals without dragging someone along who you truly don’t want to be with. It’s a practice of willpower where a man makes up his mind that he will not entertain women from his past because he has determined that they are not in his best interest. Men have to practice exercising willpower because a weak will power is how many men end up with children with reject women they had no business sleeping with in the first place. It’s important to value yourself so much that you know when a woman’s not worthy of your time or your energy, even if you both have history.
What do you think?